Squared Online – The Beginning

Sam here,

I know I know I suck at this blog writing (can’t even remember the last time I actually wrote on here for you fine people).

That however is about to change I promise J, for I have officially started my Squared Online course, you may have remember me talking about it here – https://biltongandcrumpets.wordpress.com/2013/05/28/squared-online/

As part of my assignments I have to start and maintain a new blog throughout the course duration, for which I have named aptly as Crumpets Squared J, and plan to update it with updates on how I am doing, and other random blog writing I will commence on doing to help fill the blog J, come check it out here – http://goo.gl/n3P5Hq

Now lets get some 80’s tunes going on here:

Speak soon



How to get better at everything.

I’ve recently become a lot better at something and I’ll share my secret with you. It works for everything.

While lovely Lizzie has been doing the hard 9-5 graft and been a superstar I’ve been raising the two sprogs, playing Daddy and working freelance. Or is that working Daddy and playing freelance? Ho hum, either way is good. ;)

Occasionally, during all this Daddy stuff, the bananas went black*. Sometimes they were thrown away, sometimes I made banana bread. I don’t like throwing food away so I’ve made a few of these banana loaves over the years.

I’ve had disasters as any baker has but recently I made one without weighing or timing anything. It was very good.

You know why I’m better at making banana loaf now? Practice.

And that is how you get better at everything.

It’s worth repeating in capitals.


Now you know the secret make sure you apply it.

R! :)

p.s. * This is a top banana loaf tip – use black bananas.

A simpler pricing structure for WooThemes.

I’ve tried to come up with a simpler pricing structure for WooThemes although other pressing matters (see the p.s. below) prevent me from completely fleshing this out. I hope it’s a decent start. Here goes.


  • Paid – 1 theme per website – it comes with a base level of plugins and extensions and a free (Base) level of support.

Plugins and extensions:

  • Base – free with a theme purchase.
  • Paid – the more powerful and functional ones, for example WooCommerce.


  • Base – free with a theme purchase – email & forum only. Perhaps a 48 or 72 hour reply time for the email?
  • Paid – perhaps two tiers (only!) – after all, if you get a wooTheme who better to provide you with support? One of these tiers could be included with the Developer Membership.

Developer Membership:

  • Paid – A monthly or yearly amount with a set level of support. It could be quite pricey but it (already) includes a hell of a lot and is really for power users, developers etc. Together with paid support this should be the financial bread and butter core of the business.

Obviously my proposed structure would need more work, together with knowledge that only Adii and his crew possess. This basic structure however should be simpler and easier to understand for existing and potential new customers. That can only be a good thing.

It’s just my opinion of course but I agree with Woo that they need to ensure the business continues, is profitable and that they’ve done a lot for the WordPress community.

I hope I’ve been able to help in some way.

R! :)

p.s. Now I have to clean the kitchen floor and tidy up so the boiler man can do his fixing when he arrives. Oh the joys of tech blogging and domesticity!

Can you read this?

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Clarence and the dispenser.

Clarence was up to his eyes in it. Muck. The foulest dirtiest most evil bacteria ridden muck that his sick pooch could produce. From both ends!

Little Hector lay snoring gently in his dog basket as Clarence cleaned. The smell was truly disgusting but tissue stuffed up his nose helped.

After mopping and finishing off with kitchen towel he was ready to clean his hands, make a lovely cup of tea and watch The History Channel.

He levered the tap open with his elbow, touching anything with his hands in their present state was unthinkable. Noticed the little red light wasn’t on just as he placed his hands beneath the Dettol No Touch Hand Wash System. Fuck! a tiny little drop hung from the dispenser. Not enough for even a fingernail. What now? Fucking fuckity battery driven bloody machine! No battery power no reassuring bzzzz. No. Fucking. Soap!!

Then he remembered something. Stepping back he managed to hook the handle of the under-sink cupboard with his heel. It swung open, revealing the old manual pump dispenser lying on its side near the back. He tumbled it out, grabbed it with dirty hands, and pumped cleansing liquid soap. Tesco Value but who cares! Wash wash wash. Heaven.

After thoroughly cleaning his hands he cleaned the dispenser top, removed the thin coating of dust, and confidently placed it where the techno-marvel had previously been, secure in the knowledge that humans had been cleaning their hands with basic soap technology for over two thousand years. His battery driven non-sensibility was over.

Tea made, The History Channel on, a documentary about Pompeii. Clarence guffawed, the soap factory in Pompeii was being shown. Hell, just the batteries inside that ‘technical marvel’ in the bin would have cost more than pump dispenser he would use from now on!

Proof That Google Glass is here to stay?

What links VHS, DVD and Bluray and the Internet together?

Well apart from the fact they are all formats for watching video at home, it is Porn!

It is no secret that the “adult entertainment” industry can play a major role in the technology world.

Whether it is helping to decide the victor format in a so-called “Format War”, as was the case with:

Or helping drive sales for its content, as was the case with both DVD and Pay-Per-View, The Porn Industry sure does know how to back the right technology to progress itself forward, heck just look at the internet!

Now I know what your thinking, what on earth has this got to do with Google and their Google Glass?

Well was generally browsing on Mashable.com today I came across this article:

Google Glass Gets Its First Porn App

That’s right people, a porn website whose content is filmed exclusively on Google Glass, giving a whole new meaning to Point Of View.

Does this mean that Google Glass is here to stay?

Who can tell but for the porn industry to back it at this early stage it certainly has a strong leg to stand on.

*UPDATE* No sooner had the app been released Google have now banned it from Google Glass, still it’s early days and tech was made to bend the rules a bit.

Two top travel apps.

2 posts in one week from me! My you lot are lucky. ;)

Starting a new category today on B & C where we will talk about new apps we have discovered and recommend to you.

I’m starting it off this time with 2 travel apps which I have recently found and believe will become invaluable to me very quickly.

First up is Citymapper London.

Now what makes Citymapper so good is not only the simplicity of how to use the app, but also the fact that it feels like they have beaten TFL to the crown of official travel app for London.

It has everything you could ever want from a travelling companion app, for example:

  • Google Map integration including 5 and 15 minute walk rings from your location.
  • The usual Nearest Bus stop/Tube station with expected times and status.
  • Railway lines, with live times.
  • Cycling Maps with Barclays Cycle Hire info.
  • Estimated Travel Cost – including cabs.
  • Number of calories burned.
  • The list goes on.

To find out more visit www.citymapper.com.

Next up is TripLingo.

Now I have to admit I have only just started to use the app but from what I have seen and from chatting with the Guys on their on Twitter and via E-mail, I have to give them a shout out too.

TripLingo is a language conversion app that not only helps you translate what the locals are saying to you when you are on holiday, but also helps you learn the language as you go along, all in an easy to understand way.

Whether you’re looking for the right phrase to use, be it formal, casual or slang, or want to learn how to pronounce like the locals, this app has it, all personalised and unique to you.

Other cool features include:

  • Word Bank – grouped in usefulness for you.
  • Culture Notes – giving you a crash course of the destination you are in/going to.
  • Dictionaries, Live Support, Safety Information, Emergency Numbers to Embassy Locations, the features are endless.

I for one look forward to using this app in full, not only will it help when on holiday but I have always wanted to expand my knowledge of the Italian language away from pizza, spaghtetti, ciao bella and bongiorno.

To find out more visit www.triplingo.com.

That’s it from me for now, I am off to enjoy the rarity we are currently experiencing in London called sunshine, blue sky and heat!!

This song seems very apt for it: