Author Archives: isemann

About isemann

Digital native involved in copywriting, social media, digital marketing, website design, UX, UI, IA, e-Commerce and web content production.

How to get better at everything.

I’ve recently become a lot better at something and I’ll share my secret with you. It works for everything.

While lovely Lizzie has been doing the hard 9-5 graft and been a superstar I’ve been raising the two sprogs, playing Daddy and working freelance. Or is that working Daddy and playing freelance? Ho hum, either way is good. ;)

Occasionally, during all this Daddy stuff, the bananas went black*. Sometimes they were thrown away, sometimes I made banana bread. I don’t like throwing food away so I’ve made a few of these banana loaves over the years.

I’ve had disasters as any baker has but recently I made one without weighing or timing anything. It was very good.

You know why I’m better at making banana loaf now? Practice.

And that is how you get better at everything.

It’s worth repeating in capitals.

PRACTICE.

Now you know the secret make sure you apply it.

R! :)

p.s. * This is a top banana loaf tip – use black bananas.

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A simpler pricing structure for WooThemes.

I’ve tried to come up with a simpler pricing structure for WooThemes although other pressing matters (see the p.s. below) prevent me from completely fleshing this out. I hope it’s a decent start. Here goes.

Themes:

  • Paid – 1 theme per website – it comes with a base level of plugins and extensions and a free (Base) level of support.

Plugins and extensions:

  • Base – free with a theme purchase.
  • Paid – the more powerful and functional ones, for example WooCommerce.

Support:

  • Base – free with a theme purchase – email & forum only. Perhaps a 48 or 72 hour reply time for the email?
  • Paid – perhaps two tiers (only!) – after all, if you get a wooTheme who better to provide you with support? One of these tiers could be included with the Developer Membership.

Developer Membership:

  • Paid – A monthly or yearly amount with a set level of support. It could be quite pricey but it (already) includes a hell of a lot and is really for power users, developers etc. Together with paid support this should be the financial bread and butter core of the business.

Obviously my proposed structure would need more work, together with knowledge that only Adii and his crew possess. This basic structure however should be simpler and easier to understand for existing and potential new customers. That can only be a good thing.

It’s just my opinion of course but I agree with Woo that they need to ensure the business continues, is profitable and that they’ve done a lot for the WordPress community.

I hope I’ve been able to help in some way.

R! :)

p.s. Now I have to clean the kitchen floor and tidy up so the boiler man can do his fixing when he arrives. Oh the joys of tech blogging and domesticity!

Can you read this?

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y0u m16h7 N07 kn0w 17 bu7 y0u @r3

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4nd f1nd1n6 i7 34513r 4nd 34513r

r34D1n6 sOm37H1n6 7h4t l00k3d c0mpl373ly STr4ng3

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y0u c4n r34d 7hi5 qU1ck3R tH4n wh3n y0u 5t4r7eD

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bU7 n0w y0u re@d1n6 ju57 fIn3

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4lm057 45 iF 17 w@s ur n4tur@l l4nGu4gE

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tH4T!

R!

Clarence and the dispenser.

Clarence was up to his eyes in it. Muck. The foulest dirtiest most evil bacteria ridden muck that his sick pooch could produce. From both ends!

Little Hector lay snoring gently in his dog basket as Clarence cleaned. The smell was truly disgusting but tissue stuffed up his nose helped.

After mopping and finishing off with kitchen towel he was ready to clean his hands, make a lovely cup of tea and watch The History Channel.

He levered the tap open with his elbow, touching anything with his hands in their present state was unthinkable. Noticed the little red light wasn’t on just as he placed his hands beneath the Dettol No Touch Hand Wash System. Fuck! a tiny little drop hung from the dispenser. Not enough for even a fingernail. What now? Fucking fuckity battery driven bloody machine! No battery power no reassuring bzzzz. No. Fucking. Soap!!

Then he remembered something. Stepping back he managed to hook the handle of the under-sink cupboard with his heel. It swung open, revealing the old manual pump dispenser lying on its side near the back. He tumbled it out, grabbed it with dirty hands, and pumped cleansing liquid soap. Tesco Value but who cares! Wash wash wash. Heaven.

After thoroughly cleaning his hands he cleaned the dispenser top, removed the thin coating of dust, and confidently placed it where the techno-marvel had previously been, secure in the knowledge that humans had been cleaning their hands with basic soap technology for over two thousand years. His battery driven non-sensibility was over.

Tea made, The History Channel on, a documentary about Pompeii. Clarence guffawed, the soap factory in Pompeii was being shown. Hell, just the batteries inside that ‘technical marvel’ in the bin would have cost more than pump dispenser he would use from now on!

Like food, top chefs, free samples, local produce, live music? Check out this food festival in London.

What’s better than good food? Great food? Free samples? Live music?

If the answer to any of the above is yes, the Foodie Festival at Hampton Court Palace Green is a must.

The pop-up restaurant areas feature Jamie’s Italian, Randall & Aubin and Masala Zone, one of London’s finest Indian restaurants.

Every hour top chefs from around the world show you their magic touch and techniques.

Other foodie features include:

– Drinks master classes, every hour with tastings & samplings.
– Street and world food stalls.
– Children’s cookery theatre – children and dogs are welcome.
– A local producers market, try some scrumptious locally made food.

Top this all off with live entertainment and you have a food connoisseur’s dream day.

Sit back in the summer sun on a green English lawn, soak in the live music, take a wander and sample some delights. Foodie heaven for everyone.

Hampton Court Palace Green hosts the fifth Foodies Festival on May 25th, 26th & 27th. Details at foodiesfestival.com/event/hampton-court-palace.

What you’re saying about yourself if you buy Google Glass.

We all understand the concept of Google Glass right?

It’s the same idea I saw over two decades ago for a head-up display (HUD) in contact lenses. That was during the infancy of the internet and long before smartphones, so whoever posited that idea was a good futurist.

As we know Google Glass is basically HUD enriched with the full power of the internet as it’s fast beating heart. But they are big, clunky and make you look like a dick. For a while the hipsters will fight over whether they are cool or not. And the term ‘glassholes’ has already been penned, possibly by the envious.

And we’re already seeing Google put it’s might behind making these cool, at least for the early adopters. Ultimately they will be declared cool and be a success (of sorts) for Google. Lots of us already really want them.

But what you really need isn’t the glasses, you need to understand that you are beta. The next iteration of Google Glass will be much more discreet. And after that? Before you know it you’ll be unable to tell who has Google Glass, or more correctly wearable HUD technology, or not. Which is either a nightmare or brilliant depending on your point of view.

Just be aware, if you buy this iteration, you are this guy!

iPhone Eighties brick phone accessory.
Image courtesy of Makezine.com.

Remember, with some cutting edge tech, patience is a virtue.

R! :)

Rock-paper-scissors-sex.

You probably call it rock-paper-scissors or roshambo. In South Africa we call it ching-chong-cha and many of you might know the lizard-spock variation, as seen on The Big Bang Theory.

What you might not know, is that for the common side-blotched lizard it’s a matter of whoopee. The baby making kind of whoopee. The blokes’ throat colours are either orange, blue or yellow. When whoopee time comes and they are competing for the birds, I mean female lizards of course, the competition rules are; “orange beats blue, blue beats yellow, and yellow beats orange”. Howzat!

Even bacteria do it! I’m not going to try and pretend I understand how, read how bacteria use rock-paper-scissors on Wikipedia if you want to go further.

And if strip poker doesn’t float your boat any more, you could try strip rock-paper-scissors. The Japanese already do a version, Yakyuken. Incidentally, while researching this bit I googled ‘strip rock-paper-scissors’, yikes! Close tab, close tab! I’ll leave you to go bravely there if you wish.

If you enjoyed these nuggets of trivia then you should follow myself and Sam on Twitter.

@isemann
@Seagles777

R! :-D